WHAT ARE YOUR VOICES SAYING? WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

Synopsis:  We have internal voices.  When things are hard, the voices are often negative, and can be self-limiting.  These voices are called “Gremlins” or Saboteurs.”  Coaches ask you to notice the voices, and then decide what you want. We have internal voices. When things are hard, the voices are often negative, and can be self-limiting. These voices are called “Gremlins” or Saboteurs.” Coaches ask you to notice the voices, and then decide what you want.

In initial conversation with clients, I ask about internal voices. When I started coaching, I thought I might often get denials that people have these voices. I have not had a denial yet, out of about 70 conversations.

What are your voices saying to you today?

Coaches call attention to these voices, as they are often key in influencing attitude and behavior–especially when things are difficult. Your negative, or self-limiting, voices are called “gremlins” or “saboteurs”. You are not good enough, you are not working hard enough, not smart enough, you’ll never be able to do that, why did you eat that, why did you say that, don’t do that…

• These voices are thought of in several ways:
• your self- limiting beliefs
• voice in your head that keep you small or disempowered
• the keeper of the status quo
• your powerful, self-judging voice that tells you that you don’t have the answers
• the voice protecting you from danger, from unsafe risks
• the voice reciting an old litany of judgment, and rules (“don’t do that”)
• the underbelly of your values
• your lower self, or negative side

What is important here? It is important to distinguish between what the gremlin is saying to you, and what YOU want. What is key first is to notice, to listen for the gremlin. What does the voice say? Then: how do you feel about what s/he has to say? Then: make a choice. Agree with the gremlin; or disagree.

I will write that article. I will make that call, or I will take the day off. I can lead that effort. Yes, I’m not perfect, but it needs to be done. Get out of my way.

In making a decision: where are your passions and values leading you? Often, the gremlin comes from a place of “change is not good”, or wants to protect you. The gremlin is typically not interested in fulfilling your values and passions.

If you are not aware of the gremlin, your negative voice, you may be buying into advice that limits you, and keeps your life small.

There are several variations on how to manage your gremlins. Some voices have been with you a long time and may be difficult to overcome. Most common is the technique of ignoring, squashing, or banishing the gremlin. YOU say, “I am choosing not to listen to you.” This can take practice.

Homework: Pay attention to the gremlin. What is it saying? What do you want? Make a choice. Follow your values and passions.

If you want to get more serious, you can study or focus on the more prominent or stubborn voices. You can have a meeting with all of them. It all starts with noticing, being aware. Then, you have the choice.

Acknowledgment: Gremlin is a term coined by Richard Carson. His acclaimed book, “Taming Your Gremlin”, has the subtitle, “A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way”.

Fun for the Day: “Frozen Grand Central” is a fun 2 minutes.